by Zak M.

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released January 24, 2014



all rights reserved


Zak M. St Louis, Missouri


9/24 - at Chill Dawg Cove w/ DJ Floodgate, Frank Hurricane, Liz Durette, Kevin Harris

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Track Name: Mr. Pure
comb my hair and I press my shirt.
my heart is a sandbag ballast - you cannot make me hurt.
you cannot make me hurt.
you can hide but you can't run.
peeling skin confetti, lipstick stains and bleeding gums.

they all shout, "we seen you passing by this way before,"
or snicker sideways, "seen you passed out, drooling on the floor."
"caught you scratch your face like a lotto card, break out into sores."
"we tried you on for size, but we don't like you any more."

so step into my office in this dimlit, sticky dive.
no, I won't stick within my limits, as long as I remain alive.
just as long as I am alive.
tell me, are you fever-shaking? is your belly touched with hives?
your porcelain will rattle - you will know when I arrive.
you will know when I arrive.

see me pick my nose and scratch my butt.
don't waste none of your words on talent - I've been blessed with a magic touch.
I've been blessed with a magic touch.
tell you how it goes and what is what.
sweat the milk of pure human kindness, you know my snap judgments cut.
and I will leave you in the dust.
Track Name: Humpty Dumpty on His Wedding Day
The crowd was transfixed, you remembered your lines.
You slurred to the DJ to queue up your song.
You took off your blazer and put it back on.
If this was the worst it would get, you were fine.

This was your wedding, so you were the star.
You were chewing a carrot you dipped in ranch dressing.
You were so needy, you needed attention.
Put you back together when you come apart.

You were stoned at your wedding with twigs in your hair.
Yeah, you grew out your bangs for your squeeze on the side.
Then me and my lover found somewhere to hide.
But you got suspicious, you followed us there.

With a look like there's blood on your teeth from the wine,
Did you spit-take, did you gasp?
- When you discovered us there in the grass,
Unzipped and untucked and entwined.

If this is your altar to romance of steel,
Does it insult you so when we roll in the hay?
Well, I don't care what you say
And I don't care how you feel.

All of your cousins and of your friends
Can't put your pieces together again.
I'm gonna give you one piece of advice:
If this is your wedding, then go find your wife.
Track Name: Signs (Love Can Build a Bridge)
when I said, "what is the shape of the shadow you cast from your soul?
the sound of you eating, you craping your fork on your bowl?
how can I dig myself out of this hole?
shivering and cold,"

you said, "what are you talking about? what gives?"
then I said, "I want your mouth with my lips."
do you think that works? like, "love can build a bridge"?
drink in the shower, sing like a fish.

when I said, "why is it always like this?"
you said, "doesn't it ever get old?"

"which of your names is the name that you name for your friends?
what makes your skin crawl like the touch of my breath?
still you insist this will work out for the best,
when you know that I'm fed-up and spent."

when you said that you're sick, I said, "I'm sick as you, you'll find.
I don't want your number, I don't want to know what your sign is.
I don't need an answer - you don't need to make up your mind.
I just want a reason to lay my life on the line."

watching you biding your time.
do you think that I can't take a hint?
Track Name: Sour Grapes/Setting Sun
won't take it to heart, won't look at you sore
you're talking so fast
I can't catch you, you just slip out
don't shrug me off
like a cold

be careful what you wish for.
I can sing you to sleep
with my thumb in your mouth
with one cross word
the mood is spoiled

laugh it off, babe, grind your teeth,
laugh it off, babe, grind your teeth.
this tornado is a jacuzzi
and you were my last cry for help.

remember how you said you felt when you looked at my lips?
did you melt in my mouth
or did you melt in the palm of my hand?
you can take it all back
but the damage is done

you were raring to go, I saw you chomp at your bit
will you come clean?
can you draw a line in the sand
are you my shining star
or my setting sun
Track Name: Phone Call
I had a dream about a party.
And you were at that party.
Then we went to another party.
And the party it was bangin.

Yeah, we were at a house party.
There were so many people there.
They were all on the first floor.
They were all in the basement.
They were all in the backyard,
and then the policeman come.

You know, I still go to the parties,
but they just don't compare
to the parties where we used to go,
we used to go when you were here.
ain't the same since you went away.
ain't the same since you're gone.
Track Name: Please
who was the man it was gave you the look that I saw in the glass?
was he the one too you said to you couldn't be kept?
was it the time that you shaved all the hair from your lips to your ass?
I was the one it was spit in your mouth while you slept.

who was the idiot boy you were trying to flee?
was he the one it was fixed you so you couldn't cross?
was it when you dozed off with your nose in betweens of my knees?
you couldn't tell it was me this time telling you off.

who was the best at the thing that we did in the grass?
was it one who did too with her underneath chandelier lights?
was it the time you said you were so trashed?
you couldn't put up a fight.

how was he the one it was fogged you up so what it was now you just could not see?
what did you make of the thing that you had in that shade?
I was the one that was duped. it was me.
who was the stupidest? who was as sharp as a blade?
Track Name: Fall Song
woke up wrapped up with you again
we still stunk like last night's sin
sit, smoke your morning cigarette
the smoke spun in my ceiling fan

it was the last warm day at a season's close
kissed the blackheads on your nose
sun come up and the feelings grow
the feelings we were feeling then

we tried to slip the day on track
coughed and choked your coffee back
mine was brown and yours was black
my peeling cheeks were glowing pink

you said white wine warded the throbbing off
we rubbed eachothers' bodies raw
were the whiskers on your belly soft
was I so wrong to think -

with every glass we poured
each time we touched across that floor
- that you were mine and I was yours
and we were on the rise

and laughing to recall it now
now when I catch you in your crowd
how once I thought that you were proud
now you won't meet me with your eyes
Track Name: Her Front Touched Your Back
you spit up last night
and you said it looked black.
did you give up your fight?
has your jawbone grown slack?
she followed you right.
her front touched your back.
did you ever look twice?
did you ever get smacked?

you made love last night
and her pupils looked black.
then you switched off the light
and you rolled onto your back.
and you felt so right,
with your lines down pat.
if you were so bright,
you would've seen through that act

she cut across your face, slapped your cheek, marked you up for her.
what she would leave behind - smelled, took her scent, and it took your breath away.
laying down her weight, pressed your legs with her fingertips.
you stripped her down, kissed down the down on her dry, chapped lips.
was it "she met your gaze" or "she just shielded her eyes from you"?
say it straight, she say, "stay calm, don't you get carried away."

you split up last night
and your future looked black.
you said that it was alright -
you never planned to get trapped.
you should've seen the light.
you could've cleaned up your act.
there's no turning back,
no, there's no turning back.
Track Name: Lovestruck and Smitten
did you weap in anguish, did it hurt?
if you were ever even anxious,
you never let it show.
you were touched, you touched a nerve.
I doubled-back and blushed,
but I didn't roll my eyes or thumb my nose.

you called and I came running.
you called and I came running.

you swelled with rushing blood.
your eyes were glazed.
swing low,
sweet talk.
sling mud.

who's chasing who,
or jogging in the park?
what are you running from?
where are you running?

don't pretend I'm your lover -
just your fluffer, your butler.
you smile describing
the torments you suffered.

you say things were so bad back with him then
and you wish that meant you don't miss them.
when I waffle, you roll your eyes.
you say, "can't you say shit with conviction?"

you say my sweetnesses pale to his - sinful and richer.
you condescend like his scornfuls cut quicker.
who was the vanquished and who was the victor?

you say, "babe, you're losing your grip, your grip, your grip,
you're slipping, you're slipping, you're slipping..."
you think you're so stunning - I must be lovestruck and smitten.
you say, "get off of your soap box. listen up, listen up,
listen up, listen up, listen up, listen up,

I toothpick your eye-teeth
and itch at your pimples,
but you wish you were still
daddy's little girl with big dimples.

filthy but gleaming -
your babydoll timelessness,
like the alley-cat's spit-licked pelt.
you suck up on my make-up-your-mindfulness.
I warble and waver like Narvel Felts.

no, you can't be blamed, you can't bear the hassle.
you wreck what you touch, you asshole.
give up the ghost, you're not the queen of your castle.